How old am I? (edited for relevance)

RJ:  I have to weed this weekend 

 me:  lolololol

the poop icon makes me lol

do you have any request for a dessert for saturday?

 RJ:  matcha cake nephew!

 me:  done, son

i'm also gonna make some beer bread and think of some kind of dip for apps too

 RJ:  ironically, I've become addicted to green tea and green tea products

 me:  i can now use up all that mgd i bought when you helped me move

 RJ:  and the main reason I got into tea is to not get addicted to coffee

 me:  tea is much better to be addicted to anyway

 RJ:  I did some car work over the weekend and I was looking forward to rewarding myself with jamba juice

I finished and then went over to find out they closed early cuz of a team meeting

sheeee     t

 Sent at 11:29 AM on Monday

 RJ:  oh I successfully cooked steel cut oats over the weekend

 me:  nice

 RJ:  I paid more attention, used water initially, and cooked 4 servings

 me:  did you add pb?

 RJ:  yeah

pb and cinnamon

 me:  yummy

 RJ:  and then topped with chopped bananas

 me:  i like craisins in mine

but you probably don't like craisins

 RJ:  blauchk

 Sent at 11:38 AM on Monday

 me:  do you like spinach-artichoke dip?

 RJ:  yeha

 me:  ok, i can make that for the dip to go w/ the beer bread

 Sent at 11:40 AM on Monday

 RJ:  I'm thinking I'll make bbq chicken, beef kabobs, and pacific scrimps

and toss a salad or something

oh yeah and sweet potatoes

 Sent at 11:42 AM on Monday

 RJ's new status message - needs smaller wheels :(   1:33 PM

 me:  totally belated response, but i like how you're gonna toss a salad. *snicker*

 RJ:  hahaha

 Sent at 3:28 PM on Monday

Did R-Jeezy Go From G to Gent?

I'm in the middle of making dessert for our family's celebration of Mother's Day, and I realized that my mom doesn't have any wax paper. RJ was talking about getting some orange juice, and he made it sound like he was going for a quick run to the store. I asked him if he could get some wax paper while he was at it, and he replies roughly "I'd like to take a shower first. I've got three layers of sweat on me."

"From what?" I asked?

"The first one is from the driving range..." 

I take this moment to try to interpret what other definitions of "driving range" there are. Because surely RJ didn't mean that he went golfing. Alas, I didn't know what esle driving range could mean. "As in golfing?"

"Yeah, I decided to try it out."

"Are you getting bourgie on me?"

"I've gone from G to gent. Ay, I'm out there wearing my black slim jeans and a V-neck." (As though this gives him more street cred.)

Apparently, it's a work thing.