I looked at my journal from 1996-1997, and surprisingly enough, I didn't document the Christmas of Tears. I had major family and boyfriend drama going on then, and I didn't write anything from mid-November 1996 until March 1997.
Though it's twelve years later, I still have a hard time talking about this. There's something about the way RJ can reduce me to tears that's a little...scarring.
It's Christmas 1996. All RJ wanted was Tommy Hilfiger. I wanted to give him something that was Tommy Hilfiger, but since I can't seem to buy something mainstream, I decided not to get him a t-shirt. I also like to give gifts that are useful, if at all possible. I ended up getting him a pair of Tommy Hilfiger gloves because he also needed gloves. Sounds like a win-win situation, yes?
I was so excited for RJ to open his gifts. Jon, RJ, and I were in the basement exchanging gifts. When he opened the gloves, he didn't react quite the way I thought he would. In fact, I could tell he didn't like them at all. I was disappointed that he wasn't into it, but I still thought he would want to keep them since he needed gloves and all. RJ being fourteen years-old apparently didn't have a filter for tact because he says with disgust "I really wanted a t-shirt."
I tried not to cry and was fighting to keep the tears back. Game over, man. The flood gates opened and I was bawling. Jon put his arm around me to console me* and told me that RJ was just being jeezy**. I told RJ that I could return it and get him something else. Jon stood up for me and gave RJ some spiel about why it was an awesome gift.
The combination of my tears and Jon's staunch defense pressured RJ into keeping the gloves. I kept asking RJ if he was sure he wanted to keep it, and he said yes. Later on, as in more than a couple of years had passed, RJ did tell me that he did appreciate the gift. He just couldn't see it back when he received it.
I wonder whatever happened to those gloves...
* This is why if I have to cry, I go to Jon because I know RJ can't handle tears.
** Though "jeezy" wasn't common vernacular back then, it's a very appropriate term to use to describe RJ's behavior.
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2 comments:
It's not that hard to deal with people crying...just a few pats on the back...
But deep down, I always feel like Hank Hill when someone has to break down in front of me--wanting to help (sometimes) but can't quite respond due to the awkwardness and all...
Luckily, the last time RJ cried in front of me was way back in our first house in Elgin. Granted, I probably made him cry, but still...
At least he learned not to piss me off.
OMG, Hank Hill! That was a great analogy.
Don't sell yourself short, you have a certain way in dealing with people's emotional states and giving them what they need to get out of it. This is why I know you're going to be a good father.
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